Pokey the Penguin is a surrealistic online comic strip. Visually it resembles the drawings of a four-year old with a short-attention span and poor motor control. The individual strips have little or no apparent logic on first glance, are filled with apparent corrections (crossed-out words, occasionally images scribbled over), and lack evident punch-lines. All the same they are filled with glimmerings of plots and strange connections between things, and the dialogue--by contrast with the drawings--has a peculiarly knowing and subtle air about it, despite the fact that it is delivered entirely in italicized capitals with multiple exclamation marks. Pokey's fans persistently see it as a work of genius; in any case, "HERE ON RUM ISLAND WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN RUM!" and "IN MEAT-SPACE, EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND!!!" are unlikely to be the work of a four-year old. The comic is produced, intermittently, by Steve Havelka, who for years was only identified on the page as "The Authors."

The characters are more or less as innumerable as the plots are inscrutable. Still, mainstays are:

  • Pokey the Penguin
  • Mr. Nutty, a British capitalist alcoholic snowman
  • a young female penguin, variously identified as "Small Child" or "Little Girl," who is apparently Pokey's sister
  • Skeptopotamus, a skeptic who is apparently not related to the race "hippototamus"
  • Headcheese, a French-Canadian penguin, with whom Pokey has some kind of love/hate relationship
  • Gustavo, a potato chip whose long moustaches, named "Democracy" and "Stalin", can be moved individually like arms
  • The devil (who looks like a red, horned penguin)
  • A boxing glove (purportedly possessed by the devil)
  • The Italians, who are Pokey's enemies because they want to steal his artic circle-candy

Minor characters, who appear in only one or two comics, include:

  • Rick Wallace
  • Batman (looks exactly like Pokey)
  • Superman (looks exactly like Pokey with a cape)
  • Chicken Delicious (looks exactly like... oh, never mind)
  • Chicken Adventurous
  • Yekop and Mr. Yttun, from a parallel universe
  • Bobdole
  • Rip van Pokey
  • Pokey Hood
  • Edward the Confessor
  • Pope John Paul II
  • the Governor
  • Santa Claus
and many more...

"Chicago-style" is a term used in the strip meaning to do something without pants.

External Links

Quotes

  • "I am Pokey the Penguin. Will you be my friend?" "When we arrive in the land of riches, we will not need friends!"
  • "Pokey, are you drunk on love?" "Yes. Also whiskey. But mostly love... and whiskey."
  • "We will attack those three men!" "It is play!!!"
  • "It is revealed to me thusly: this is not Grandpa! This is Italian fake!"
  • "I like to have fun adventures every day."
  • "I am mastering the possibilities!"
  • "Ziing! The extra 'i' means extra zing!"
  • "Pokey does not like to run. Pokey prefers to sit. As though I am driving my own submarine."
  • "If Democracy fails, you can count on Stalin!"
  • "I fight for my breakfast!"
  • "It is a good thing we escaped from the ozone layer!"
  • "I have dominion over you! You are my slaves!"
  • "Who are you friend? Why are you cutting my hair!!!" "Crud! Why do they always wake up?"
  • "Hooray! I have Mega-Ultra Plus, for easier fun!"
  • "Pokey, these are plums! I wanted oranges!" "That is the price of love."